510 before tip out
friday night. July 12


i feel like i lost some money along the way. that it like, fell out of my purse or somethng. i should be more careful in the future. but also, i realized something super annoying. i did this room with this dude, whose name i couldnt' remember past square one. he was pretty funny in that he kept acting like it was pure kismet that we met, that we were meant to be. he kept saying "if i had come in five minute later, do you think we would have met?" and hilarious things like that. he talked about how comfortable he felt with me. also, he talked about how good i smelled. i asked him what i smelled like. he said, "i don't know. you smell like...WOMAN." later he said, "i realized what you smelled like...it's sweat." in a good way. i kind of liked playing with him. he was pretty handsome. i put my mouth all over his shoulders...bit and sucked. so he payed 100 for the room and 300 for me. but he paid with a card. so i got a check, but the check was only for 240 because the owner takes 20% off of credit card transactions. so this was a good lesson for me to learn.  i also let him slap my ass a lot, because it was less work then me continuing to gyrate and kept his mind of pulling his dick out of his microfiber boxer briefs. i went upstairs afterwards and momma was like, "somebody got a hold of YOUR ass." oh i do love her.

i feel like i have the closest thing to a friend at work now. i won't write her name, but it's the name of a fast car, so i'll call her maserati, even though that sounds a bit ridiculous. she is really nice and she is also tall and she's just open and kind. the other night we were standing outside on the street tryna get customers and she was waving down the street, "i know it seems like we're so far away." she said to me, gesturing at the club four storefronts down. "that's my sister. she works there, but we never see eachother because we're have kids and we're dancers..." i peered out to see her sister. "it's like once you become a dancer," she said, "you never see anybody anymore." i could imagine what she meant. i'd only been back in town for two days and i was feeling frustrated that i was going to work before doing anything else...feeling like i still wasn't back in town but only in the alternate bourbon street universe. and i know i don't work as often as maserati does. i decided to suck up my complaining a little at that moment.

i think i reached the point of not giving a fuck. i can't really care less if the other girls don't like me or resent me or are jealous of me or think i'm a bad dancer or whatever. every time i get back in town it is a little hard to get up the courage to be on stage again. but it's not so bad, and to be honest, i've started ordering an actual drink when the first couple guys ask, and that helps. i drink vodka cranberry which i never order in real life, but i feel like my stripper persona would order. i've also started sanitizing the men's hands when we go into a room. that way i don't get so anxious when they are all over my ass. last night i was giving a dance to this man in the merchant marines, and he was like, "oh the dirty sailor and the cute mediterranean looking chick." that was amusing to me somehow.

after work, maserati and i were doing our money in the dressing room. we were having small talk, which was so lovely and i asked her what she did when she got off work. she said she usually was so tired, she just showered and went to sleep. "my boyfriend usually wants me to give him a blowjob, and i have to be like, 'baby, the sun is coming up and i havent' slept yet.'" i told her that if someone asked me for a blowjob after i got off of work i would clock them.

also guys are still so racist! this dude came in and he was like, "i'm here with a lot of my buddies, but we don't like black chicks." and did i stop talking with him? no! i kept trying to flirt with him to get a dance. i think maybe that was a case where i should have drawn the line. he didnt' stay anyway.

i went in the bathroom to take a piss after waiting a couple of hours for them to re-up the toilet paper, and Eden* scooted in quick behind me and shut the door. i like her a lot and worreid that i accidentally tipped her off earlier, when in some awkward attempt at a greeting, i sort of blocked her way out the door. that's the kind of thing that could become beef here. but she was all camaraderie with me when she came in. "i'm hiding from a customer,' she said. she had been in a 3 for a hundred room, and some guy had wanted her to fuck him. "and i was like, 'no way am i gonna fuck you downstairs in a three for a hundred room. for a hundred dollars? and if i get caught i'd get fined $50, off the $70 i get from the a hundred, i'd be fucking you for $20...i told him i was going to go get a condom, and then i left, but he just came back in, so when i saw you come in to the bathroom i followed you in." i told her i was glad she did and that he was a dick and what do guys think they are getting.

i didn't know what she was talking about but later i sat down with a group of guys and was trying to sell one of them a dance and he said that his friend had gotten stiffed on a three for a hundred. i made an excuse to leave and went and asked eden if those were the guys. unsurprisingly, they were.